Tear my walls down

This has been the longest week of my life everrr....

however...I'm finding out a lot about myself without even realizing it until after the fact.

I enjoy serving/helping people. Sure some are easier to deal with than others...but it still makes me happy to direct a person in the way to get to the church office or where to register for vacation bible school or walking a sweet little girl to her kindergarten class...

I've never really thought of myself as a helper because most of time I simply lack the patience to deal with people who don't see things my way...

God knows differently though. We were created with patience as a part of who we are. In Galatians 5:22-23 it says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

That means that God gave me a measure of patience when He made me. The only problem now is that I'm not living a life that helps display that patience.

Why wouldn't I take full advantage of all those free things He put in me? The kind of person that displays those attributes surely pleases the King. Isn't that what I want out of life? For Him to say that He is happy with the way I used the gifts He gave me? Yeah, that's all that matters.

Lately there have been some aspects my life that I know have pleased the Lord but there are WAY more that I know are completely unacceptable. The root of the whole problem? My complete and total stubbornness. It's crazy ridiculous how hard headed I am.

So my prayer is that God will begin to tear down the wall I've built up around my heart. A person recently said to me, "I sometimes hate praying for patience because I just know that's asking God to put me through a test that requires patience. And all I really want is just for him to give me that kind of patience He has." It certainly would be easier just to ask and *poof* it be there. But luckily our God is a teaching and disciplining God and wants us to learn how to deal with our humanness on our own.

Lord,
I need you like a hurricane to tear my walls down
If destruction is what I need, then I'll receive it Lord from Thee

Cheers :)