Tear my walls down

This has been the longest week of my life everrr....

however...I'm finding out a lot about myself without even realizing it until after the fact.

I enjoy serving/helping people. Sure some are easier to deal with than others...but it still makes me happy to direct a person in the way to get to the church office or where to register for vacation bible school or walking a sweet little girl to her kindergarten class...

I've never really thought of myself as a helper because most of time I simply lack the patience to deal with people who don't see things my way...

God knows differently though. We were created with patience as a part of who we are. In Galatians 5:22-23 it says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

That means that God gave me a measure of patience when He made me. The only problem now is that I'm not living a life that helps display that patience.

Why wouldn't I take full advantage of all those free things He put in me? The kind of person that displays those attributes surely pleases the King. Isn't that what I want out of life? For Him to say that He is happy with the way I used the gifts He gave me? Yeah, that's all that matters.

Lately there have been some aspects my life that I know have pleased the Lord but there are WAY more that I know are completely unacceptable. The root of the whole problem? My complete and total stubbornness. It's crazy ridiculous how hard headed I am.

So my prayer is that God will begin to tear down the wall I've built up around my heart. A person recently said to me, "I sometimes hate praying for patience because I just know that's asking God to put me through a test that requires patience. And all I really want is just for him to give me that kind of patience He has." It certainly would be easier just to ask and *poof* it be there. But luckily our God is a teaching and disciplining God and wants us to learn how to deal with our humanness on our own.

Lord,
I need you like a hurricane to tear my walls down
If destruction is what I need, then I'll receive it Lord from Thee

Cheers :)

Oh what Love :)

So I have made the decision to major in Speech Pathology. I came to this conclusion because I love hearing people that have speech impediments talk. I just want them to talk all day just so I can listen to them. So I thought why not make a career out of helping people through their speech problems, right? Right! Well, it's sooo cool how God just makes it even more real to me that that's what I'm supposed to be doing when I'm least expecting it.

Today I went to my mom's work to pick up a check and we walked past a doctor who was kind of mumbling to himself. I kind of gave my mom a weird look because it was kind of odd. So she told me she would explain later. After we got her check and were walking back to the car, my mom explained to me that the doctor had a disorder that made him say any and everything he was thinking.

Woah!

I literally felt this crazy bubble of joy erupt in my heart when she said that! How cool is that?!?! He says everything he thinks and he can't control it because of something in his brain. That's so awesome.

Anywho, that's not entirely the point here. That eruption of joy it what matters here...I love feeling the passion God put in my heart for people with disorders like that. It's the most amazing feeling to know without a shadow of a doubt that I know that I'm heading the right way in God's will. Yeah, I'm not always perfect, in fact, I'm not anywhere close, but I have such a joy and a peace knowing that I'm right where I need to be.

Yay for life, joy, peace and the unending love of a Father who I know smiles down on me when such 'aha' moments happen.

Cheers :)