Contemplating

I'm contemplating a couple of things right now...

1. I've been really stressed about finding this book that the Lord really used to speak to my heart throughout last semester. This doesn't seem like that big of a deal, right? Wrong. It occurred to me that, although that book was a huge part of getting me through last semester, I should be more worried about why I'm not constantly in His Word. I should be worrying and stressing about why I'm not looking feverishly into His love letter to us. Eh. Just kind of convicting. Well. A lot convicting. I still want to find that book. But I want to be lost in His Book.


2. Friendships. So many questions. I know that all the relationships in my life right now are serving a purpose. Except the thing that's kind of tripping me up is just how complex they all are. But I my line of thinking is following a little more specific path. Why do WE have to make things so complex in our relationships? For me, I've got some friends that I know so well that it's just not hard to be around them at all, ever. Those friends are the ones who challenge my walk and are genuinely concerned about how I'm growing. Those are the friends that make my life soooo worth it. It's just hard to explain.

On the other hand, the friends who are good friends, but just not to the level of the other kind. It's just...uhh...I dunno. Hard. Here's what I think is hard: I want to be able to invest, care, listen, pray and enjoy those friends as much as my deep friends. In the big scheme of things, I do most of those things for all my friends, but I think I just want to WANT to do those things more.

I'm just wanting to find the deeper meaning in those friendships that I'm just kind of lukewarm about.

Oh, the ramblings of a sinner's heart. Lord, be glorified in my rambling.

These next two weeks are gonna be stressful. I'm praying for rest and strength in Him. And for a rejuvenation of those friendships I've let slide.

Cheers :)